"As soon as we became parents, we discovered a whole new social layer that we didn’t know existed."
Hat Tricks with Victoria Stoyanova
Welcome to the whopping second edition of Hat Tricks — a Q&A series where I ask fellow parents to share the everyday tricks, rants, and rituals that keep life (somewhat) together. Think purse/bag must-haves, bedtime story favorites, and those untold bits of wisdom we all wish we could swap more often.
Today’s guest is a woman I’ve known since my uni days when we were both bright-eyed early twenty-something students in Paris, with hopes of doing big things. She’s the queen of community and one of the most inspiring and calm-spirited humans I’ve ever met. Drum roll for the one and only Victoria Stoyanova!
Victoria has always carried the quiet momentum of someone who knows where she’s going. We met when we were students, and I was immediately struck by how comfortable and confident she seemed across different professional arenas, thoughtfully laying the groundwork to shape her own path across cities and industries. What has always stood out to me is her instinct for charting her own course, an innate ability to connect ideas, people, and opportunities others might miss, and a genuine gift for cultivating community wherever she goes.
There’s something magnetic about being in a room with Victoria. She draws people in with an easy curiosity and makes you feel not only included, but intentionally welcomed — part of something expansive yet intimate. Through her work, she bridges community, culture, and technology in a way that feels purposeful and deeply human. Her presence doesn’t dominate; it anchors. Within moments of hearing her speak or speaking with her, you can literally feel her kindness.
AND SHE’S A MOM, TOO!
With her husband Sasha, Vicky lives in London. Enter their Julia Joy, “Juju”, a lucky little lady, who is two and a half at the time I’m writing this. Today on Hat Tricks, Victoria shares her POV on motherhood, community & more.
MG: The classic question that we all hate but love to ask: What do you do?
VS: In essence, I’m a girl who knows a guy. (laughs).
I work at the intersection of community, technology and culture. I curate and design partnerships on an ecosystem level and bring together people who wouldn’t otherwise sit at the same table. I work with big companies like Meta and Google, startups, cultural institutions and movements.
For many years, I’ve been the London curator of CreativeMornings, the largest community in the world. I look after our 20k members here and get to bring forward what’s most timely in the creative industry. I also run unexpected poetry events in urban spaces through a collective called Poetika.
To get started, I for one believe that morning routines are rarely as simple and linear as they seem in the Internet world. Cards on the table, can you tell us about yours in detail?
At the moment my 'lady baby' (that's what I call my daughter Julia as she’s the real boss in the house) gets up at 7. I get up a bit before to make tea for me and milk for her and maybe do a little meditation and plan my day before she wakes up. As I go to the kitchen I’m followed by my cats, Stilton and Babs, who demand to be fed. They are a comic sight and the polar opposite of each other - an entitled British Shorthair and a skinny, needy Devon Rex.
Julia (Juju) and I read books in the living room, have a little debrief about our respectful dreams (she dreamt about Pepa!), then we get dressed and make some 'eggies' in pretty vintage steel egg-holders. Mornings are slow, cozy and sacred.
After I drop her off I go back home to shower and get ready for the day (although I feel like I’ve lived a whole day by this point)!
Tricks of the Trade
What’s your must-have kid-related item in your bag?
Raisins, a small 'surprise' toy, lip balm, wet wipes, pen and paper.
Care to recount a recent AHA! moment?
Ok, so my child has destroyed one by one every chic lipstick I own. No hard feelings, but I’ve learnt my lesson. I started giving her her own lip balm to play with. Like a cheap ‘labelo’ style. I got a bulk order on Amazon and now I always have one ready. They are harmless, endlessly entertaining (they open and close), and are so small when you think of size per hours of entertainment ratio.
What would you say is THE must-have item for a new parent?
I can’t think of one item but I prioritise small items/tweaks that make life as a parent easier. Shoes without laces so you don’t need to bend over while holding a little human (Nike do a great pair), a thermos for your tea that will inevitably get cold otherwise, a comfy sling so you can go about life hands-free, a coat made for baby-wearing so you both stay cozy, an electric water bottle or blanket, a little table next to your sofa so you can have your essentials in reach. I feel like all the emphasis is on children, but if we’re comfortable and relaxed parenting is ten times easier.
Parents know that weeknights can be intense. What are your go-to weekday meals to keep your sanity?
I’ve rediscovered cooking since becoming a mum. I realised that food is a comfort I have the power to give to my little family and I’ve been really enjoying it instead of stressing out about it. I’ve been cooking all the things I ate as a child - they are still comforting to me and my family.
Mince on burger buns with grated cheddar on top. It takes 10 minutes in the oven and it almost feels festive. In my home-country (Bulgaria) this open sandwich is called a ‘Princess’. Go figure.
Soups - Lentil, meatballs or a classic chicken soup always feels like a hug on a long winter day
A classic marble cake.
I also love making a big pan of lemon pilaf or lentil curry from Anna Jones‘ book Easy Wins.
When I need a little inspo I take a look at the Mob app or just ask Gemini for something quick and fun. I have a recent favourite from there - a quick 10-minute dinner made from soba noodles in chicken broth with lots of cavolo nero and chili oil (for the adults).
What’s a weird thing you never thought would become part of your daily routine... but now it is?
Walking in/out the house in my pajamas when I drop-off my daughter. It’s very New York and I’m embracing it.
What’s the most absurd thing you’ve had to Google recently?
I have an ongoing Gemini conversation that can be summarised by ‘is my baby too cold’? My husband laughs at me but I’m often double checking if her room temperature and her sleep sack match. What can I say, there’s nothing worse than being a bit chilly!
The Art of the Rant
What’s your parenting pet peeve?
The other day I walked past a couple with a cute little three month-old in a pram who was inconsolably crying. The mother yelled ‘Stop crying! Look, everyone is looking at you!’. I know we all lose it sometimes but I just can’t stand shaming children - nothing justifies it.
Care to share the reason behind your daughter’s recent completely unexpected outburst?
The scissors in the kitchen made her sad? Go figure!
Let’s get real. What’s the toy or activity you absolutely cannot stand?
No sound-playing toys are allowed in the house. Unless it’s the classical-music story books like Nutcracker, that’s cool.
Taking it a step further… something that irritates you lately?
People who talk to my baby or try to intervene when she's crying in public. I know it's a well-meaning, natural response, but it often makes things worse. Please respect the boundary of the chaos, it's not yours to soothe or solve.
What do you wish people understood about kids?
I wish people understood better what afternoons / evenings actually look like. Once I pick up my little one, I'm literally unavailable: mentally, physically, subliminally. I'm baking, singing, reading, rolling around and calling it yoga. I can't hop on a 'quick call' or do anything productive.
Tell us about the last time you had major FOMO?
Most of my friends have super international lifestyles. Take one of my besties Charlotte for example. She just lived in Turkey for six months, while technically being based in Lisbon, while really her heart beating faster in Mexico City and having family in Paris. The swift, seamless way to ‘pop by’ for a visit in any city (and its best dinners and parties) is something I definitely miss. That, and date nights at the movies.
The Person Behind the Parent
Oftentimes in parenting life we hear a bout “a village”, but I see it more as a “system”. How would you describe your system?
I think people parent the way they live their lives. If you’re quite anxious as a person, you’ll be quite an anxious parent. If you’re into mini adventures, you’ll take your child to all sorts of mini adventures. Same goes for social systems - if you like a small circle you’ll likely keep it that way. If community has a big place in your life, it’s likely to expand as your family expands. I’d like my pre-child self to know that there’s no one else to ‘become’ and there’s nothing to do ‘better’ - you’ll still be who you’ve always been with the same beautiful qualities and annoying habits, and that’s ok. Of course parenthood changes us, but I don’t think it’s in the ways we might hope or predict.
One thing that’s been a surprise though is how our little street has taken us in. As soon as we became parents, we discovered a whole new social layer that we didn’t know existed. Some of our neighbours are the closest we have to family in London - they are the ones we call when we need a more seasoned parent’s opinion or local advice. It still takes a village and it’s a constant thread of care in both directions. We’re also the ones being called when a teenager needs a pep talk from an auntie. I love being the local auntie - I bake cakes for the birthdays, I follow the latest Stanley cup trend and I’m a listening ear for school romance drama. It’s a privilege to be intertwined, this is what belonging is. My favourite poem’s last line is “and are not of interest to each other” - I think about this often: we have to be, that’s what makes us human.
Time to give yourself a pat on the back. What’s something you’re proud of that you don’t say often enough out loud?
Oh thanks for this question. I’m really proud of my relationship with my little one. I take her seriously, I try to be as present as I can and I hold her when she has big feelings. I’m calm and consistent, which isn’t how I am in all areas of life.
Describe that moment when you can recharge. Even if it’s just that 30 minutes of silence and bliss after bedtime before you yourself fall asleep from exhaustion, what are you doing, when do you feel rested?
I have a bath and then sneak into bed with a treat of a book, a little Moleskine notebook, a delicious Aesop hand cream and a cup of rooibos tea.
The last time you completely lost your cool about something that after the fact felt completely ridiculous?
We had just finished getting dressed, we were running late and then… she ran though the bathroom and got her socks all wet. I felt defeated and lost my cool… which then rippled into her losing her cool. That night when I tucked her into bed she said “Don’t make me sad again, ok?”. Unbelievable.
What’s the most recent piece of content that inspired you?
Helen Garner’s How to End a Story. Loving the way she describes ordinary moments - conversations, light reflections, things that happen in cafés and between people. It’s a gem to be enjoyed slowly. I also revisit some On Being podcast episodes regularly, like the one with Ocean Vuong. Magic.
Something you’re loving right now that has nothing to do with being a parent?
I have a little walking route on the canal next to where I live in East London. It’s a path I’ve walked a thousand times, but every time it feels new, magical, almost sacred. I look at the canal boats and the way the pampas grass dances in the sunshine. It’s where I come to find a soothing, calm normality, a steady ground. Parenting life can be so dense and chaotic and to be my best self I need spaciousness. Presence is a muscle I try to practice daily. It’s something I’d like to pass to my little girl.
Last random tip?
Voice mode for everything - I talk to Gemini while I cook, walk, while I’m in a taxi. Same for quickly journaling/reflecting via my phone’s notes app. I don’t have a lot of time for this so I make it count. And this is how I chat to friends most too - a quick voice note sent between daily chores and chaos.
🔗 Follow Victoria: Instagram / LinkedIn / Substack
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Quick note! This Q&A is meant to be evolving, I’d love to know your thoughts on the format, content, what you’d love to see in this space. Feel free to reach out.
Oh, I loved this, Meg! Picked up some gems from Victoria! Looking forward to more in this series xo